Philter of Love Diatomaceous Earth Coaster

Introducing the Philter of Love — a laser-etched diatomaceous earth coaster featuring a crystal-corked bottle containing the essence of romance itself: one giant heart-shaped gem for "wow," two smaller heart gems for "double wow," and sparkles because love should always sparkle.

Features:

• 💎 Giant Faceted Heart Gem — Represents the size of your feelings (or your budget for Valentine's Day)
• 💕 Two Floating Mini Hearts — For when one heart just isn't enough
• ✨ Built-In Sparkles — No additional glitter required (you're welcome)
• 🏆 Gold Ball Finial Stand — Fancy presentation for your fancy fossil romance
• 🧪 Label Clearly States "Philter of Love" — Old-timey spelling = extra magical authenticity

Perfect for:

• Romantics who want to bottle their feelings (literally)
• D&D players preparing for their next bard character
• Anyone who's ever said "why buy flowers when you can buy fossilized love?"
• Adding "mystical matchmaker" energy to your nightstand

Does not actually cause people to fall in love with you. Results may vary. Side effects include: smiling at your phone, daydreaming, and an inexplicable urge to listen to acoustic covers of pop songs.

Specs:

• Genuine diatomaceous earth (Ancient Sea Life, Now Romantic Art)
• Laser-etched love potion design